29/12/09

During spm, my parents keep asking me wat course i wanna take after spm n wat college i wanna go..
Each n everytime i gave them the same answer..
I say i dunno...
They always say, how can you say dunno since spm is going to end soon?why you wont worry abt it de?
Everytime when they say so i will feel so pekcek...
Cox i did worry abt it..
But i reli dunno wat i wanna study n which college i wanna go...
This feel is getting worse when i found tat many of my frens already planned wat they wanna do after spm..
But now, i find tat compare with my frens, i know more n more confirm abt wat i wanna study n where to study next year or even wat to study after my pre-u..
I'm wondering, izit tat actually i already know wat i want from the beginning, just tat i dun dare or dun wanna face the fact tat i'm leaving high skul?
Anyway, at least now i know wat i wanna n wat i need to do..

These few days reli alot things happen..
They happened in a sudden..
Till now i still cant get use to it...
I now still in abit blur blur situation...
Maybe not i blur, is just tat i dun wanna face the fact..

Just back from trip

Hohoho...
I just came back from classtrip yesterday..
It's reli fun to play n chat with frens..
We reli play till very siao le..
Although just came back from the trip, but i already started to miss them d..
I hope we still have chance to go trip together again le...
I LOVE 5S7!!! Mwa mwa XXX

冲动地做出一个决定是要付出代价的。。。
如果时间可以倒流，
我一定不会再走回这条路。。。
无奈的是，
没有人能重写自己的人生。。。
我们唯有在错误中吸取教训，
不再犯同样的错。。。
可是，
我却一错再错。。。

23/11/2009

Love?
What is love?
I had failed in this field not only once...
I think i won't have the courage to step into it again...
Anyway, i will let the past to be the past...
I will let go of it d...
I wanna say thank you to spm..
You let me concentrate on studies n give me a chance to slowly let go abt the past...

To:my dear frens,
dun need worry abt me d...
I will be ok...Reli ok d...
N thx for helping me n supporting me in these few months..
Thank you...

I am lost...
I dunno wat to do...
I dun even know wat am i doing...
I just remember tat i need to study study n study for SPM n also........................
Wat can i do?
Wat should i do?
I'm now damn emo~~
I'm now in blur blur situation~~

11/11/09

I wish nothing had happen before...
I hope i never know wat's happening...
I just dun wanna know!!!
I hope i wont care abt you...
I hope i wont worry abt you...
I hope i dun emo becox of you...
I hope i wont get hurt just becox of your words...
I hope i wont be crying here just becox of you...

BUT.........

No matter how many times you hurt me,
No matter how many times I cried for you,
No matter how sad or how despressed am i just becox of you,
I'm still standing here right beside you...
Just for you...

I was once trying to leave,
I tried to run away...
But, now, i'm still here...
I wont run away again...
I swear i wont...
No matter how, i will still be here,
Just becox of you...

I dunno who should i believe to....
There are too many things happening around me since the day before graduation day till now...
I'm now reli in a blur blur stage..
I hope to clear my mind..
But i failed to do so...
Wat shall i do??
Just wait n see wat's going on n just do nothing abt it??
I reli dunno wat to do...

Stupid!!

I hate it!!!
I reli hate it so much when you say something like tat!!!
My heart is bleeding...
I wanna cry but i cant even cry..
It's more pek than crying..
I reli hate it so so so so much!!
I feel like wanna slap you!!

7/10/09

Something had happened in a sudden...
N it also ended in a sudden...
Someone had become blur blur n did something tat make him very regret..
I know wat he say to me n wat he had done is becox he's so blur n not realising who is the one he reli cares abt..
But i'm glad tat he wake up n realise his mistake so early..
Hope tat someone can forgive him...
N also hope tat tis mistake wont cox him regret in his rest of his life...

Tomolo will be my graduation day...
I reli cant believe it's the end of my secondary skul life...
Time is flying...
I will miss Kwang Hua...
I will miss my frens especially my classmates...
I love 5S7!!
I know i had spent alot of time for band n almost half a year not in class every year...
But these two years, you all reli gave me many memorable memories...
I will remember you all in the rest of my life!!
GAMBATEH in tomolo's graduation performance!!
5S7 IS THE BEST!!!

1/11/09

有些事我一早就预料到了...
虽然有了心理准备,可是当事情真正摆在眼前时原来是如此难受...
我知道有些朋友不能尽信,但我不想戴上我的面具...
甚至欺骗自己他们是可信的...
我不想再当无知小女孩...
我想学会保护我自己...
过去发生的事我无法去改变,也无法彻底忘记...
但我会把它当成教训,提醒我自己以后不再犯一样的错...

生病了

上个星期五我生病了...
不是感冒发烧,而是不消化..=.=
造成一直肚子不舒服,一直吐,很累...
整整两天我就一直躺着,即使坐着也得靠着椅背...
如果坐着没靠椅背太久或站着就会头晕...
整个人一点力气也没有...
原本星期五早上我还打算硬撑去学校的...
结果,到学校就吐,只好打电话给我爸叫他弯回来载我...
晚上jen说第二天可能有练习,我就想说如果第二天好一点的话就去看看,即使不能跳也看看他们学什么,最后有人sms来说取消了...
可是当天晚上已经超过十一点半了才收到tieng sms说明天去berkeley篮球场练舞...
那个时候我已经睡着了咯...
受不了他们天天last minute...
我第二天早上才看到那sms...
不过也没用,因为我连站都站不了要怎样去?
到了今天病是好了但还没完全痊愈,体力也还没恢复...
下午只是练一下下的舞,回到家已经整个人散了,冲完凉就躺在那边动不了...
希望我快点恢复体力,能有精神好好读书,练舞...
加油!!

Today

Today, we went to Xiao Ling's house to practice our dance...
The first time all the gals tat dance balley dance present...XD
But so sad tat i need to go back at 3 something to rush for tuition...
Reli long time dint feel so tired d...
Not enough sleep+dancing+tuition make me so tired...
But i still can take it la...
At least it's better den band practice...
I can see everyone is improving n more enjoy dancing d...
It's a good news..
Hope tat everyone can pay more effort to practice n show our best on the graduation day...

祝福

最幸福的事

当过你的天使

现在的我

还做不到潇洒地离开

但是

为了你

我绝对能够坚强地

站在这里

为你送上最深的祝福

我会一直的一直在你身后

祝福你

也守护着你

当你累了跌倒了受伤了

只要你愿意

我一定会到你身边帮你

我只有一个要求

你一定要找到属于你的幸福

你要幸福哦!

Haiz...

Haiz..Too much holidays d..
I know i should appreciate it and use the time to study...
But....
Everyday sitting in front of the table reli very SIENZ!!!

今天

两个月前的今天我是哭着过的..
但今天的我会笑着过!!!
因为我不再有理由哭,只剩无数让我展开笑容的理由!!!

Study

Finally, trial is over d..
But,it's not the time to feel happy..
Becox........SPM IS COMING!!!!
I am now worrying my studies...
Cox my results are like dunno wat...
I know many ppl will say, everyday band band band la...
Ok, i admit it reli affect my studies..
But, no use to regret, n i have no time to regret..
Although band affected my studies, but i still wanna say thank you..
Cox it reli teach me alot n bring alot of memories for me...
Most of the memorable memories in 17 years since i was born are memories when i was in band..
I will study hard so tat my parents wont blame tat band make my results like xxxx..
Going to study hard not only becox of band but also for myself...
N also becox I had promise someone I will study hard...
Good luck n Gambateh for every form 5 n form 3 students!!!

Careless

EXAM EXAM EXAM!!!
Today's exam is my favourite subject..
It's MATHS!!
Paiseh, i got abit sot liao..
I like tis subject since i'm small dunno why..
But.........
Today's paper,i know some question i wrong liao..
N,those are very stupid mistakes..
Not tat i dunno how to do but all are careless mistakes..
Omg,i reli dunno when i can stop being so careless leh..
Tis is reli a bad habit since i'm small..
Haiz...Careless...
So sad...

爱情最折磨的不是别离

刚才听歌时突然觉得有一段歌词令我满感触的..
爱情最折磨的不是别离,
而是感动的回忆,
让人很容易站在原地,
以为还回得去...
也许最令人放不下的并不是爱情,而是曾经触动人心的回忆...

遗憾

遗憾令人心疼,难过..
但若不曾有过遗憾,又怎么体会和懂得什么叫珍惜?
有了难过与泪水,才更能体会开心与笑容的可贵...

Panda

Today is chemistry trial paper...
I HATE CHEMISTRY!!!!
This is the first time i stay up till so late at night..
Reason is, i wan study the stupid chemistry...
Actually is not i wan but is i need...>.<>.<
Haiz...I think i'm going to become panda d la...

对自己的承诺

当初选择放下的是你,如今最放不下的却是你?
你还再等什么?
就算他回头又怎样?
他还会是那个他吗?你还是那个你吗?
即使他回来了,过去再也回不来了...
你当初的毅力呢?去哪里了?
你那慧剑斩情丝的坚持和勇气去了哪里?
你知道吗?
悲伤和泪水很不适合你..
适合你的是笑容与笑声..
你曾对自己说过,爱情永远不会是你生活的重心..
以前不是,现在不是,以后也不会是...
你要记得你给予自己的承诺...
记得吗?你说过你从不轻易许下诺言,但所许下的诺言就得尽全力完成...
你说过,你要当太阳,不要当乌云..
你要当晴天,不要当雨天..
你对自己的承诺要去完成,你已经对他失信了,不要再对自己失信..

Bye

Finally AGM over d...
I thought i will feel relieve..
But, except abit bit sad i dun reli feel any different leh...
Anyway, i wanna thx brasspart tat help me so much in these two years...
Especially to my partner wee yao...THANKS ALOT..
N also trombonist, especially min fen...thx for you all's present..
I reli very touch at tat moment..But sorry la min fen, i dint cry like wat you had plan...Wakaka...
Lolz..I will come back to visit you all de...Cox i know you all sure will miss me very much..Haha..
Especially my voice...Last time say i very noisy, next time dun have me liao you all sure feel so lonely...Haha..
Dun miss me too much lo..But when got time also must think me abit la...Bye bye...

爱

爱是什么?爱是一种感觉...它无形,无色,无味...我们无法用肉眼看到它,用鼻子嗅它,更无法触摸它..爱,只能用我们的心去感受..

爱并不只局限于男女之间的情爱,它也同时存在于亲人,朋友,甚至是人与动物之间...

有人说,爱是伟大的...你觉得呢?其实,爱本身并不伟大,伟大的是行使它的人...有些人的爱不只不伟大甚至是很自私的...

你做出你的选择了吗？你决定爱得自私还是伟大一点？说实话，其实我自己也不懂，我爱得自私还是伟大，即使不能是伟大，希望至少不是自私的...

AGM

Oh my god, tomolo is AGM d!!!
I'm going to leave band d...
I cant believe it..
I'm gonna leave>.<
SO SAD!!! T.T
Hey my fren, dun miss me lo...Hahaha..
I know you will miss my voice so much...^v^

报应

那个决定并不是痛苦的结束而是痛苦的开始...
我很傻对不对?
但是一点都不值得被同情..
说要放弃的是我,那我怎么有那个资格说心痛,难过又或是痛苦...
毕竟一切都是我亲手造成的...
明明现在我没时间去多想这件事,
明明我根本就不想去想它,
明明想起时是多么地痛苦,
但它却时时在我脑海里出现...
这应该是报应吧?
惩罚我因为那么懦弱地放弃了...

对不起

原来我是高估了自己的忍耐力

原来我是需要安全感

原来我一点都不坚强

原来放弃也是需要勇气的

原来选择转身离开的人心也是会痛的

原来我还是爱你的

但是我还是残忍地

选择放手

选择离开

选择逃避

选择不再坚持

你会原谅我吗？

原谅

我的软弱

原谅

我的任性

原谅

我一而再地伤害你

你会吗？

谢谢你们

全国赛过了整整一个星期...
AGM 也快到了...
时间真的过得很快...
转眼间我在band已经五年了...
说真的,我觉得我能留下来直到我毕业,我真的觉得很不可思议...
我很感谢band的所有人,让我的中学生涯那么充实...
在band的这五年里我哭过,痛苦过,甚至差点崩溃,想要放弃...
但我很庆幸我咬牙忍过了...
虽然我最痛苦的时候都是在band的日子,但是同时那些也是让我最快乐的时光...
我很想向所有band members尤其是brass part说,谢谢你们...
你们是我最好的战友...
没有你们,我不可能撑那么久...
谢谢你们!!我爱你们!!
希望你们 KWANG HUA BAND 明年会更好!!!

Sat morning

Today is saturday...
N i'm so free tis morning becox.....Today no band practice..
No band practice de sat morning is so weird..
Last thursday i just put on braceses..
Now i reli feel very uncomfortable with it especially when talking n eating..
Pek cek..
Now i still can buzzing,but i dun think i can play instrument within two weeks cox i'll feel pain when i blow the mouth piece...
N "nicest" part is....Next sunday got a performance!!!
Oh god, it's reli a big big challenge to me...
Hope i can get use to the braceses as fast as possible..

18/4/2009

I had deleted my previous blog..Why?Becox there's something tat i think i should forget abt...
Now, i'm very very busy..
Busy with band practices, my studies, n chat with my darling...
Everyday is a tiring day...
I'm so happy tat we finish estancia de formation liao...
It's a good news...
But....
I dun have enough sleep for the whole week n i think this situation will last till june..
I am now so worry abt my studies..
My results are like shit..
The first time in my life i fail my bm..
N without suprise, i fail my chemistry n physics...
Oh my god, with this kind of results i still need to skip classes for at least one or two months?
This year i need to sit for SPM de leh..
Who can help me?!
Reli need to take extra effort to study liao..
But...
Everyday after practice will be so tired, plus after my tuition reli cant tahan liao lo...
Although i can force myself to stay awake but wat's the use if i cant concentrate on my books n cant even remember a single thing??
N now, midyear exam is near!!!
Oh god, wat to do???
I wish i got 48 hours a day..
I hope i'm made of iron..