27102010

A friend said that now i'm like keep torturing myself everday..
It's kinda true, everyday dunno why keep on stress myself, giving myself pressure,
force myself to work for assignments and presentations even if they are group assignments,
work until late at night, till i cant stand it,
but when i stop working, off the lights, and get onto the bed,
im not sleeping, my whole mind is just you~

20102010

痛~心真的在痛。。。
累~爱得好累。。

当你无法忍受我不能时时刻刻在你身边时，
你认为我会很好受吗？
你觉得我就不需要你在我身边陪着我吗？
从认识的第一天，距离这个问题就已经存在了，
你现在才说你受不了了？
你知不知道当你无法忍受我不在你身边而对我冷淡时，
造成的伤害比距离这个问题的伤害更大，更伤，更痛？
如果你决心离开，为什么不就这样转身离开？为什么还要回头？
你说你想要确确实实感觉我们之间的爱，
你需要我陪在你身边。。
先生，难道不回复我信息还是回我那种该死的信息能改变什么吗？
我对你的关心，对你的爱，难道你真的一点都感觉不到吗？
你感觉不到，那我呢？
我就该死的应该明白，应该感觉到爱吗？
我不对你发脾气，不代表我没脾气好吗？！

09/10/2010

Cant stand without me by yourside?
It's a problem tat we cant get any closer?
The moment you say you wont find me again i decided not to sms you anymore..
I was down but im staying strong...
I can still persuade myself tat we cant meet each other is just and excuse, the truth is you dun love me anymore..
But why?
Just a sms :"Sayang, I love you"
For wat send me this kind of msg since you decided not to find me?
My tears almost going to burst out..
But wat i can do is just swallow the tears, wearing the smiling face in front of my frens, and once again tolerating and finding solutions..
I reli dunno for wat i tolerate again..
Reli is for wat?
If you do care, will you wan me to tolerate like this?
I reli dunno..I dun have the answer for the quesiton..

08/10/2010

I reli have had enough~
Im done with it..
I will NOT sms you until you sms me again, even if it means to lose you..
I can tolerate once, i can tolerate twice, i can tolerate many times but NOT FOREVER..
I also got my own 个性and脾气 OK?!
I am keep worrying and now WORRY has become ANGER!!

oh.ok.nitez.en..
Wat kind of stupid reply is this?!
1st msg, 忍~
2nd msg, 忍~
3rd msg, 忍~
4th, 5th, 6th, 7th............
WTF~
who you think you are?!
Yes, im in love with you, so wat?!
If having a relationship with you is this kind of pattern, and im the only one tolerating, i rather i dun wan it anymore..
Even if it hurts so badly for losing you, i also rather break than getting more and more emo and frustrated by not getting reply or this kind of STUPID reply from you becox it HURTS more than breaking up with you!!
Getting along with someone who doesnt love me or even care abt me, it's even worst than breaking up!!

07/10/2010

I miss you, but i cant say it out loud,
I love you, but i cant say it out loud,
even now im worry abt you, i still cant say it out loud..
The only thing i can do is just wear my mask and pretend ntg happened..

我真的觉得很没安全感...
以前的我从来不会这样子的...
为什么从我们相遇，相识，到现在所谓的“相爱”的情侣关系，
一切的主导权都在你？
我真的好想问，你真的爱我吗？
如果爱，你现在这样是算什么？
你真的只是忧郁所以想一个人独处，还是你不要这段关系了？
我曾经承诺过，我会留在你身边，我不会离开你除非你叫我离开~
如果你真的想我离开你的世界，只要你一句话我就会离开~
我不想你现在这样子，不回我信息，一句话都不说丢我一个人在这里担心，
却不知道你在想什么，你要什么...
如果你在忧郁,你不开心,我可以陪着你..
就算你说你想要一个人冷静,叫我暂时不要找你,给你空间,我也OK..
但现在这样是怎样?!
我只有不停叫自己冷静,不停告诉自己你只是emo,需要一点时间和空间...
但拜托你,不要这样折磨我好吗?
我撑着这张笑脸撑得很辛苦...
我应该坚强,可是我很累了，好想放弃~
却又担心当你回头找我时你会找不到，会难过，会觉得受伤~
快快告诉我你想怎样吧~求求你在我崩溃前告诉我你到底想怎样~

06.10.2010

这种要求，你要我怎样点头答应你？

06/10/2010

很累~我真的不想再戴着面具对人~
我不想担心时却撑着笑脸对人开玩笑，
我不想没有不安全感，却当什么事都没有，
我不想明明在意，却要装着一点也不在乎~

到底什么时候开始，我又再次戴上那伪装的面具？
到底什么时候我可以把它拿下来？

什么时候开始，
我不再有自信？
什么时候开始，
我变得那么没安全感？
什么时候开始，
我那么需要温柔体贴和关怀？

想为你分担，
想让你没负担，
想让你不担心，
但，我真的撑得很辛苦~
你懂吗？
我不想抱怨，但我真的很想你给我多一点点安全感~
就那么一点点就好，可以吗？